“A grownup is a child with layers on.”

Taken by me in Knightsbridge when I was fifteen

I remember thinking that I owned the world. When I was fourteen, I used to speak in such a manner that anybody in a 12 mile radius would know that I was an 'able' student, who could sit any exam and pass with flying colours without attending a single lesson. I thought I was mature, an adult, ready for what this world had to offer, but not in the good way.

Little did I know that confidence would be the downfall of my pre-teen life and that asking my parents for unrealistic curfews did not make me anymore of an adult than wearing my mothers clothes did. I learnt this the hard way.

Near to my fifteenth birthday, the UK had a results day. A results day is a day that students, who sat an exam between a period of time, would have to go and get their results during the holiday from school. I pranced into school with my head held high and slid out of school with my head hung in shame at what to me was the worst grade I have ever received -and hopefully will ever receive. It was not as bad as you may think; I passed but not with flying colours. And that was the day were it hit me: I am not an adult and if I do not begin to try harder, applying to Cambridge after my A-levels will be as silly as bungee jumping without the bungee.

When I was 15, I felt very small. My confidence began disintegrate and I spent less time pretending to be smart and more time actually being smart. As you would expect from any cliche story, the C i received when I was fourteen was balanced out my the A* I received when I was fifteen and that grade averaged out to an A. I did not stop there, I only tried harder.

Taken by Bethostylista of me

I am now 16 and although I still feel as small as I was when I was 15 the amount of responsibility that is forced on me is immense. I am meant to have it all together and know where, when and what I will be be doing in 10 years time but honestly, what 16 year old knows that? What 20 years old knows that even? Do not say a determined one because even they certainly do not know. That makes me wander about a lot of things: when are we considered an adult? Are we an adult when we know what we want? When the government says? or by whatever science has to prove?

Science says that our brain continues to develop a long time after our teens. By a study, the brain of an 18 year old is very different to the brain of a 25 year old. Does that mean their are different stages of adulthood? But then when do the stages start? Honestly, I do not think we ever becomes adults; Our body and mind work towards it but we never actually get there because even the smartest of people have a lot to learn from life. We are always growing up but deep down behind the large words we use and the amount of facts we know, there is still that little curious little child within us. Some people may call me weird (mainly the ones who know me well).

Title is a quote by Woody Harrelson.

1 comment:

  1. Sweet. Good post-- self reflection is a thing we all should take pride in.